A checklist of Tom Waits lines to work in to conversation

Use one of these a day:

  • A rat always knows when he’s in with weasels
  • They’re lining up to go insane.
  • That deep blue sky is my home
  • Independent as a hog on ice
  • It was all ripe for dreaming
  • All the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes
  • Stayin’ out of circulation till the dogs get tired
  • At night I pray and clean my gun
  • Whittled from the bone of Cain
  • I feel like a preacher waving a gun around
  • God used me as a hammer boy to beat his weary drum today
  • Damn good address for a rat
  • I’d like to hammer this ring into a bullet
  • I’m not Able, I’m just Cain
  • They sharpen their knives on my mistakes
  • There’s always free cheddar in a mousetrap, baby
  • Man’s a fiddle that life plays on
  • They that dance must pay the fiddler
  • Don’t go dreaming, don’t go scheming
  • Well my friends think I’m ugly I got a masculine face
  • Don’t trust a bull’s horn, a doberman’s tooth, a runaway horse or me
  • Like a kid who captures a firefly, leaves it only to die in a jar
  • Who ever thought hell’d be so cold?
  • I wanna look in the mirror and see another face
  • Yellow dog knows when he’s sinned
  • The carpet needs a haircut
  • He’s been seen at the table with kings
  • He can turn himself into a stranger
  • Everything this doughboy does is wrong
  • Lie to me baby, I have no use for the truth

describe a girl as…

  • a “tawny moor”
  • a “sad luck dame”
  • “Nothing wrong with her that $100 won’t fix”
  • “all liquored up on that road house corn”
  • Hair black as a bucket of tar, skin as white as a cuttlefish bone
  • I was the jewel of her sin
  • a “Salvation Army Band girl”

Advanced mode

  • Your love is a faucet
  • Got a wooden coat, this boy is never coming home
  • The day when home early and the sun sank down into the muck of a deep dead sky
  • The cracked bell rings as the ghost bird sings and the gods go begging here
  • I feel like a slave ship upside down wrecked beneath the waves of a grain
  • And by the time they finished “Moanin Low” I was soakin’ wet and wild eyed.
  • There’s always some killin’ you got to do around the farm
  • For want of a bird the sky was lost
  • There are those who say beneath his coat there are wings
  • He once killed a man with a guitar string

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Comments

  1. Never drive a car when you’re dead

    How far are you going? He said depends on what you mean

    Then she lit the map on fire so Neal just had to guess

    And you’re singing lead soprano in a junkman’s choir

    It’s best to wrap your savior up in cellophane

    Hey Charley I’m pregnant and living on 9th street right above a dirty bookstore

    His wife was a spent piece of used jet trash

    They had sixteen children in the usual style

    You wave your hand and they scatter like crows

    I look 47 but I’m 24

    He’ll never see another summertime for gunnin’ down my brother

    All they will find is my beer and my shirt

  2. Never trust a man in a blue trench-coat

    she’s a diamond that wants to stay coal

    Watch your back if I should tell you, love’s the only thing I’ve ever known

    She got me coming through the dog door

    God’s green hair is where I slept last

    The only thing I want that shines, is to be king there in your eyes

    I can order in latin, make em au gratin

    I’ll never kiss a gun street girl again

    Anywhere I lay my head is where I make my home

  3. i shot the morning in the back with my red wings on, told the sun he better go back down. if i can find a book of matches, im gonna burn this hotel down.

    willie’s knocked out on a bottle of heat, driving dangerous curves across the dirty sheets.

    they were dead in their tracks in the shooting gallery.

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