Portal “Camera Shy” achievement picture tutorial, Part 1



The facts


Grr… locked BAD!

Welcome to Valve’s awesome game: portal! This here’s my guide to getting the “Camera Shy” achievement. Because while I’m a egotist camwhore myself, I’m a flaming libertarian. Ergo, only cameras I like I like.

Before we begin: I’m not planning on really spoiling the story, but I don’t care enough to see that through. If you haven’t played it, why are you reading a guide to complete the final achievement?

Now, there are 33 cameras that you can destroy. There are a lot more that you can’t, but we don’t care about these immortal cameras. Only the ones that, much like a woman, make a satisfying sound as they fall helplessly to the ground.

As an aside, I thought it was rather awesome that all of the characters in this game were female (or simulacrums thereof). You don’t see that too often outside of Japanese lesbian dating simulators.

The cameras are distributed as follows:

Level Killable cameras
2 3
3 3
4 2
5 3
10 1
11 1
13 3
15 5
16 5
17 2
18 2
19 3

Thanks to these guys for that info. And also google.

Now, to the camera-carnage!

Level 02

Hanyways: Level 2 has 3 killable cameras. But none of that matters until you git yer gun. Second amendment forever!

You see this camera after making your first portal right after you get the blue portal-gun. Like any good mad-scientist you’re pro-technology but anti-the-man (aka: The Fools). So kill the camera and cackle a bit.

Yeah, take that. The only cameras I tolerate are MY cameras watching MY test subjects run MY deadly gamut of tests. Whoever put me here (said Fools) is going to pay.

To get to the second camera, we need to use some fancy portal physics that might elude the first-time player. Namely: using the orange portal as an entrance. First, shoot a blue portal through here…

Like so…

And turn around.

Turn right when you fall out of the portal, and you should see your quarry.

Ker-pow!

Two down, one to go before hitting the elevator.

There the third killable camera is, opposite the big LEVEL 02 sign. Christ, this place has more cameras than Oceania, Eastasia, or London!

The dark secret of portal: GLADoS is actually webmistress of www.theCheesecakeIsALie.com, featuring exclusive hot escapee voyeur action.

Level 03

On to level three, home to three camer… hey!

They’re not even trying.

Welcome to level three, home of three two cameras.

…I turn the corner and there’s another one. How’d I not get this award the first time?

Vital testing apparatus destroyed!

Turn right after exiting through the orange portal for the first time and you’ll see the last camera on this level. It’s a small level. Frankly, if you needed a guide to find any of these, you’re the laziest laze who ever lazed.

Damn, no user serviceable parts. Who knew?

Level 04

Not even out of the lift’s doors and to the big, friendly “LEVEL 04” sign and there’s a camera. Security Moms and the PATRIOT Act built this facility.

Bzap, clank.

There’s camera eight. Otherwise known as “the second and last camera on level 4”.

Man, portal has short levels.

Man, portal is a short game.

More games should be this short and good. I’m a goddamned busy man.

Our work here is done. Moving on.

Level 05

Level five. GLADoS says she’s not monitoring this level. If you believed that the first time, you weren’t really paying attention to 1) her voice or 2) the three cameras on this level.

Viva la anonymity!

Note, you have to walk through the door before the orange portal activates and this portal becomes hazardous to security-based life forms.

Number two for Level 5. Just left of the door number 1 was above.

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. Or cake.

-Benjamin Franklin

The last camera on this level is after you solve the puzzle and leave through the second formed orange portal. Just turn away from the level exit and look up. Fun fact: According to the Creator’s Commentary, one of the hardest things presented to 3d gamemakers is to get their players to look up!

In this screenshot you can also see my winamp poking through due to me having to kill explorer, thereby causing interesting fun flashing visuals for a bit. I’ve been listening to the ending song to portal today. The game’s infected my brain in the 24 hours that I’ve owned it.

Valve, you had me at “Weighted Companion Cube”. <3

Dead cameras tell no tales.

Portal physics are neat. Since the orange portal is above the dead camera, you can see it twice in this shot. I find in some of the later levels that I work best if I think about the problem, act on it, and while trying to get the timing right I stop focusing on the weird map topography involved and just repeat the motions, lest my HEAD EXPLODE.

Anyways, that’s the last camera until level 10. We’ve offed eleven of thirty-three, so we’re 1/3rd the way there! And that’s the last camera for this post. I have to go to work now. Yay work!

You can find part two of this tutorial for the Unlocking Camera Shy Achievement in Portal by clicking here.

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